I heard on the radio that when it comes to finding a date, iPhone users are 21 times more likely to judge someone negatively for owning an Android, while Android users are 15 times more likely to judge someone who uses an iPhone.
That we judge people by their phones only highlights our emphasis on details at the expense of relationship.
I remember early in our marriage when my husband and I used to have conversations like this:
“Last Tuesday we were watching a movie when – “
“Wait, Honey, I’m pretty sure that was on Wednesday.”
“Are you sure? I thought it was Tuesday.”
“No, it was Wednesday. I remember because – “
“No, it had to be Tuesday, because on Wednesday we – “
And on we went until one of us capitulated or someone else in the room awkwardly cleared their throat and said, “So…what was it that happened on Tuesday or Wednesday?”
Whether it was the day or the year or the time or the place, details were so important. Until I read that being publicly corrected over a detail in conversation can make a man feel disrespected. And I started to ask myself, “Is the day of the week really more important than respecting my husband? Is being right over the details more important than our marriage?”
In marriage, Solomon calls these details “the little foxes.” “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.” (Song of Solomon 2:15, NIV)
This emphasis on details can ruin any relationship, not just marriage. Is the kind of phone you use worth more than a courtship? Is a personality quirk more important than a friendship? Does someone’s age make them not worth listening to? Is musical taste or clothing style worth more than family or church?
There are bigger issues worth disagreeing over. I believe in standing firm when it comes to biblical truth and in solving conflict rather than ignoring it.
But God tells us to “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility, count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4, ESV)
And don’t forget: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:18, ESV)
So next time someone pulls out their phone and you’re tempted to cut off the friendship…
Remember what’s really important.
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